WHIPPED CREAM: the squire of gothos album review

It’s brazenly obvious that Sheffield duo The Squire of Gothos "buss pure joke" when they get into the studio. Their self-proclaimed style and (we hope) sardonically misspelt track names say it all: the latest album,We Do Scorpion Thingz, promises ‘the sickest and most insane basslines known to man weaved around basterdised elements of hardcore, dubstep, jungle and techno.’ Upon first reflection, I would erroneously suggest that there isn’t much of a UK market for such a warped sonic fusion, but with a back log of wax releases on the likes of Coin Operated, Tigerbeat6, R8, Electrostimulation, it seems that the TSOG boys have got ears pricking. Is "mutant bassline rave for the 21^stcentury" a personal aural preference, perhaps not. However, it’s important to take a new release at face value, without preconceptions and attempt to dispel the niggling urge to judge track names such as 'Cum Wid Dat' and 'Phonin 4 Shinez' without giving them a listen.

'Dark Thing' makes for a promising introduction; ominous electronic mists, erratic bleeps and the gradual induction of sonic layers create an impressive tension that wouldn’t be out of place in a Shackleton set perhaps. Teetering on the edge of the bassier side of ethereal techno, the track is intelligent, compelling, relevant even. A slight spattering of the TSOG’s sense of humour creeps in and out without causing offense, suggesting the boys’ subtle creative stamp on this new strain of electronica. If only the stamp stayed as subtle throughout.

The next few tracks present problems; the dated warbling basslines, irritatingly speedy high hats and defective and overused vocal samples feel like a brutal attack on the eardrums. With computer game samples over vocal shifting over perhaps the most annoying drop of the whole LP at 2.34, 'Lypo' is the overwhelming lowlight of the album. Everything comes in excess - speed, layering, track phrasing, bassline - which admittedly is one of the premises of hardcore rave music but We Do Scorpion Thingz just seems a bit phoney. Whenever a ray of hope shines through, (the grimey riff and funny vocal interjections that almost take on a personified character in 'Chewing Minnows' for example) another track falls short (the butchering of Bob James’ 'Take me to the Mardi Gras' break on 'Old Skool' springs to mind).

The Squire of Gothos boys have clearly had a lot of fun making this album; the Velcro-sounding synths on 'Harder Things' act as the perfect metaphor for this. Indeed, we all feel the guilty pleasure found in scratching on Velcro at different speeds from time to time. Such acts, however, are strangely satisfying for the perpetrator and often not so satisfying for his audience. Simply put, there’s way too much going on here and whenever a phrase intrigues and excites you, it is lost amidst an avalanche of sonic confusion. Even at a creative epoch in which hybrids of former electronic genres are changing the face of British dance music, the TSOG blend of hardcore, garage, jungle, techno and everything in between represents the soundtrack to a rave that I don’t really want to go to. But maybe I’m just getting old...

The Squire of Gothos: We Do Scorpion Thingz is out now.

If you enjoy feeling on the cusp of madness and sanity, listen to this